Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!” Proverbs 4:7
Having the right people speaking into your life can never be underestimated. It literally can make or break you…and it can definitely make or break how you deal with the aftermath of a marriage break-up or any other broken relationship for that matter. It’s incredibly important to surround yourself with people who can support you and give you, not only good, but godly counsel.
After my ex-husband left, I had plenty of people giving me all kinds of advice. I knew God had asked me to walk a path of peace but I needed lots of wisdom and discernment to know how to do it! Here’s the thing…not everyone will get it when you choose to take the high road. There’ll be plenty of good-hearted, well-meaning people telling you what you should do and what that person who hurt you deserves…but any voices that feed into anger, bitterness, revenge and victimisation need to be blocked out. We need friends who will encourage us towards forgiveness, doing the right thing (even when we’ve been wronged), and who help us on the road to wholeness.
“The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.” Proverbs 12:26
We need wisdom and discernment to know the difference between counsel that might tickle our ears and justify our position, that may sound right and good but will ultimately lead us down the wrong path, as opposed to that which will challenge our hearts and keep us on the straight and narrow. Godly counsel ALWAYS lines up with the word of God. Anything that promotes strife, vengeance, slander and bitterness is NOT godly counsel and will cause you to lose your peace (and probably your mind!)
Good advice and God advice are not always the same!
There was one time I had some beautiful girlfriends over who decided to give me some advice. They thought I was being too soft and a bit of a walkover and that I needed to get lawyers involved and set things in place to protect myself. My girlfriends loved me, were upset by what had happened and were incredibly protective of me. It all sounded right and made sense even though deep down I knew it wasn’t in line with what God had asked of me. That night when I went to bed thinking about their advice, I randomly flipped open my Bible at Isaiah 30:1 which said, “Woe to the rebellious children,” says the Lord, “Who take counsel, but not of Me, and who devise plans, but not of My Spirit, that they may add sin to sin.” I read that and thought “Woah, that’s a bit heavy!” and “No, that wouldn’t be God…it’s just a coincidence” and brushed it off. I don’t know how more blatant God could have made it haha! Talk about a red flag!
Anyway, I went ahead with setting things into motion legally and let my ex-husband know what I was doing…and do you know what happened?? All hell broke loose! Worst of all, I completely lost my peace! It started a war and the battle went on for a number of weeks. The funny thing as a Christian is you can fool yourself into thinking you’re in some kind of spiritual warfare and work yourself up into a spiritual frenzy…but the truth of it was IT WAS ME. I had disobeyed what God had told me and now I was suffering the consequences of it. God showed me this one night as I prayed in desperation. I had to repent and as I did that scripture in Isaiah came back to me. God had tried to warn me but I had followed what sounded like good advice…but it was not the path God had asked me to walk. Amazingly, the moment I changed what I’d set in place, things almost instantly turned around and I got my peace back! In the end my ex-husband and I were able to amicably negotiate our divorce and settlement ourselves without having to go to court. Everything worked out for good.
Please let me just clarify that every situation is different and I’m not saying it’s wrong to get legal advice or lawyers involved as sometimes these things are necessary. I’m just sharing my story of how God led me and what He did for me. The most important thing is that we obey God in what He’s asking us to do and be led by peace.
When we continually seek godly wisdom, even when we make mistakes, God will lead us back to the right place. The Bible tells us in James 1:5 that if we lack wisdom, all we have to do is ask for it. God wants to give us wisdom and guide us through all the challenging trials we face and He will place people around us to speak life and encourage us in the right direction.
I love what Proverbs 4 :6, 8 & 9 goes on to say about wisdom… “Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you. Love her, and she will watch over you…Embrace her, and she will honour you. She will give you a garland to grace your head and present you with a glorious crown.”
That’s an amazing promise right there!